The Only True Measure of Your Character is How You Treat Others.
"No matter how educated, brilliant, rich, or cool you imagine you are, how you treat people eventually tells all," stated an unnamed author in a Facebook post the other day. I found myself agreeing wholeheartedly. It's a message I believe we forget all too frequently, especially in our celebrity-obsessed, superiority-obsessed world. Continue reading to see why it is the sole true test of character. Then look at a few pointers to help you become a better person in general.
The only thing that matters is how you treat others.
From a young age, the media instilled in us the belief that beauty is defined by what's on the surface, that those with money deserve authority, that power deserves respect, and that education equals wisdom.
Worst of all, we're taught that folks who possess any or all of the aforementioned qualities are somehow superior to us. That their lives are more important. That our entire worth is determined by the size of our bank account, brains, or -at least for us women- whatever else beginning with a b. Let me tell you, that's complete nonsense (I swear I'll stop with the alliteration now).
The way you treat people is the single most important factor in determining the type of person you are. Every single one. Realizing that we are all equal is the first step.
I am not superior to you, and you are not superior to me.
We must get rid of the notion that one person is better than another just because they earn more money, attend school for longer, dress better, have a lower waist, or have a more popular Instagram account. None of those things elevate you above me, or elevate me above you.
Let me tell you, you can't buy a personality or intelligence with money. You can still get a degree after four years of Ds. The external beauty of a person fades over time. Waistlines swell.
To put it another way, none of those things are real, and none of them reveal anything about a person's true character. Let's play a little "what if" game to really drive home the point that how you treat people is the only thing that matters.
First, consider someone with a lot of money, power, and/or fame, but who treats others like pure garbage. We learn via the media and his (or her) admirers that this person is deserving of respect, that he is significant, and that he is someone worth listening to and appreciating. After all, he's a millionaire! He's well-known! He's a formidable opponent!
Put yourself in the shoes of that person if you don't have any money. Without the celebrity, the power, and the following. Would you want to know him?
Do you want to be friends with him? Are you connected to him in any way? Would you still think he's better than you just by looking at him? That his life is somehow more valuable?
When you take your money account, following, and IQ out of the equation, you're left with the ultimate measure of your worth: the size of your heart (metaphorically speaking, of course). If you ask me, I believe a large heart trumps a large financial account or a large brain any day!
What you can do to improve yourself as a person in general
The fact that you're looking for advice on how to modify how you treat people indicates that you're on the right track. We're all guilty of appearing superior at times, of being a touch cocky or arrogant. The first step in becoming a better person is admitting that we all have room for development. The following pointers will assist you in staying on track.
The Golden Rule should be followed.
Contrary to common belief, the Golden Rule is a foundational tenet in many religions and ideologies around the world. In its simplicity, the rule is beautiful: treat others the way you want to be treated. "Treat others the way you want your child to be treated," I'd say instead. We have a tendency to let others treat us unjustly, but when our children are harmed, we roar into action like mama and papa bears.
Before you speak, consider your options (or type)
Consider how much nicer the world would be if everyone took a moment to consider before they spoke (or hitting the submit button on social media). Before you open your mouth or stretch your typing fingers, consider the following:
What am I trying to achieve? Is it my intention to offend someone? Is it to make fun of them or to get a rise out of them?
Would I say something like this to someone I care about?
How would I react if someone said something like this to me? To my mother? What about my kids?
Is this something I'd say in person (for social media posts)?
What if these were my last words, and they were the only thing people knew about me?
Now, I'm not suggesting that you walk about life censoring every thought you have. Sometimes it's necessary to say difficult things. There is, however, a polite and kinder way to phrase them nine times out of ten. Remember our grandparents' advice: if you can't say anything kind, don't say anything at all!
Share with caution.
Memes are simultaneously one of the most brilliant and terrifying social media inventions of our time. On the one hand, a cute and relatable meme can make our day so much better. Cats who are sassy, dogs that are skeptical, and kids with suspicious expressions? Joy that is pure and innocent. On the other hand, far too many memes are nothing more than insults delivered in a passive-aggressive manner.
While consciously seeking to harm others is inherently evil, memes frequently reach unintended audiences.
To demonstrate, let me tell you a tale. I have a friend who is having financial difficulties. She is a single mother who is responsible for both her child and her own parents. She works extremely hard but is never able to make ends meet. She relies on food assistance to feed her family, which is more essential to her than her pride.
She has an uncle who she adores (and believed adored her) and who frequently spreads derogatory memes about individuals who rely on food stamps. Her heart bleeds every time she sees them on his Facebook page. She sobs because she now understands how her favorite uncle truly thinks about "people like her," and it hurts her.
So, unless you intentionally want to cause very real people very real grief (in which case, I can't assist you), before you push share on that tasteless and disrespectful meme, follow the same principles under "think before you speak."
Make a "kindness" challenge for yourself.
So far, we've discussed why not to do something in order to become a better person. This is an actionable suggestion that you can put into practice today and every day. Give yourself a kindness challenge to actively challenge yourself to modify how you treat people.
Begin with a 30-day challenge (30-day challenges are popular for a reason: they're a doable amount of time). Do something pleasant for someone else every day.
Often, something as easy as paying someone sincere praise or expressing to them how much you appreciate them may entirely transform their day.
Of course, you are free to commit larger random acts of kindness. Just make sure you're doing it because you want to improve as a person, not because you want others to think you are.
"No matter how educated, brilliant, wealthy, or cool you imagine you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all," I said in the beginning of this piece. Period. So go out there and show the world your enormous, beautiful heart. After all, that's all you'll be remembered for in the end.
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