5 Reasons Why Aunts Are Just As Important As Moms to Our Kids
Did you know that when it comes to raising children (especially girls), aunts are just as important as mothers, according to parenting experts? It's true! Read on to discover just a few of the many reasons why they have such a strong influence in our children's lives.
So far, we've discussed how important nieces and nephews are in an aunt's life. We've even discussed how cousins are pre-made friends for life. What we haven't discussed is why aunts are so wonderful. Let's put that right! Here are just a few of the many ways aunts are as important as mothers in our children's lives. But first, consider what one well-known parenting expert has to say about it. A parenting expert has called for a “auntie army” to assist in raising our daughters.
Steve Biddulph, a parenting expert and self-help author, made headlines when he said on a podcast that aunts may be just as important to our daughters as we mothers are. Raising Girls was Biddulph's new book, which he was promoting (which you can preview below). While the majority of the book is about raising strong and independent women, what he said about aunts struck a chord with listeners so strongly that he practically went viral overnight.
“My aunt has ears that listen, arms that hug and hold, an unending love, and a heart of gold.” Doesn't that quote say it all? Our sisters (whether blood or friendship) play such a unique and wonderful role in our children's lives that it's difficult to know where to begin to describe everything they have to offer. Let's just get started, shall we?
One thing to keep in mind: while Biddulph and other experts focus on the aunt/niece relationship, I believe that all of the benefits of aunts apply to boys as well. I have many male friends who have equally wonderful relationships with their aunties as their daughters do.
1. Aunts step in when your children believe you don't "get" them.
Moms and their children are bound to disagree at times. Even if you have the best relationship with your children, there will be times when you just don't see eye to eye. Biddulph explains that this is where ants come in handy, particularly for our daughters (although this equally applies to our sons as well). When our children feel as if you aren't "getting" them, they will always have someone to turn to. That brings us to...
2. Aunts understand how to listen without passing judgment.
Melanie Notkin, author of SAVVY AUNTIE (see below), discusses how aunts have a wonderful ability to listen to our children without judging them. Even though we try hard not to do the "mom freakout thing," it's difficult not to lose our cool at times. For example, suppose your adolescent son tells you that he went to a party where kids were drinking but did not succumb to peer pressure. You tell him you're proud of him and thank him for coming to you... Then devise a strategy to ensure that he never sees those friends again. Aunts know how to simply listen.
3. Aunts are not permitted to ask any questions.
Aunts not only listen without judgment, but they can also handle some of our children's most difficult questions. You know, the questions they're too embarrassed to ask us. Consider your own childhood (especially those turbulent adolescent years) and you'll see what I mean. No matter how "cool" our mothers were, it was always strange to talk to them about boys, our bodies, and other very personal matters. It's just easier to talk to someone who hasn't changed your diapers! Isn't it reassuring to know that our children have someone other than Google to turn to?
4. Aunts relieve our daughters of some of society's pressures.
Despite generations of women fighting for change, girls are still subjected to an absurd amount of pressure. We are still taught that what we see in the mirror determines our self-worth rather than what is on the inside. Even science confirms that we women are frequently perceived and judged as the sum of our parts, rather than as a whole person. While we've come a long way in convincing the world that we're not objects, our fight is far from over. We still live in a world where the phrase "she has a great personality" is regarded as an insult rather than a compliment. Our girls need to be surrounded by strong women who can help them deal with the pressures of society.
5. They also help our boys grow into better men.
When it comes to how boys view and treat women, they face their own set of societal pressures. In fact, I believe they receive even more mixed messages than our daughters. Aunts demonstrate to our daughters that we are more than the sum of our parts, and they do the same to our sons. Raising boys in an environment with strong female role models can help them grow into men who respect all women. They learn to see women as multidimensional individuals, rather than just "pretty," "smart," or "good in the kitchen."
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