There’s No Truer Love Than That We Feel for Our Kids
To believe in love at first sight, you don't have to be a hopeless romantic; you just have to be a parent! We feel as if we've known them our entire lives from the moment we meet them. There is no greater love.
There is no greater love than the love we have for our children.
Scientists have spent decades attempting to explain romantic “love at first sight.” They've hypothesized, analyzed, and done whatever "-ized" thing they do when publishing their findings. What was their conclusion? It's not true.
I respectfully disagree. While romantic love, at first sight, is a myth easily explained away by our poor memories and strange brains, there is one type of love that I absolutely believe in the love we have for our children. We're goners the moment our eyes fall upon their sweet little faces, whether it's through childbirth, surrogacy, or adoption.
Our children are the closest soulmates we have.
It may sound strange to say that our children are our soulmates, because, like love at first sight, we often associate the phrase with romantic notions. However, while trying to come up with a way to explain what I mean, I came across a quote from a clinical psychologist that says it all.
According to Suzana E. Flores of Women's Health Magazine, a soulmate is someone who teaches you a valuable lesson. “They can shake up your soul by providing experiences that change the way you perceive yourself and the world,” she says. Soulmates challenge you to reach a higher level of consciousness.”
No one or nothing can challenge, transcend, or completely change the way we see the world as our children. Parenting changes us on a level that even our deepest romantic love cannot. It changes us from the inside out and teaches us what true unconditional love is.
Let's dig a little deeper into that last statement.
Parenting teaches us the true meaning of pure unconditional love.
In its most basic form, unconditional love refers to love that we freely give without any strings attached. As much as we want to feel that way about others in our lives – our spouses, parents, and even our best friends – let's face it: there are always strings attached to those relationships. We may not realize it until those strings are yanked, but they are there.
When it comes to our children, however, there is nothing they can do to make us stop loving them. Nothing. Yes, we can become enraged with them. We may become so enraged that we are unable to look or speak to them. We still adore them, no matter what.
We are still available to them when they require our assistance.
Did you know that our deep unconditional love for our children has scientifically proven benefits for both parents and children? Researchers discovered in a 2009 study that feeling unconditional love for another activates the brain's "reward system" and produces positive feelings.
Then, in 2010 and 2013, researchers discovered that children who receive such love are more resilient and healthy (both mentally and physically) throughout their lives. Isn't that cool?
You can fall in love with your child without even realizing it!
While researching studies on the unconditional love we feel for our children, I came across a post that basically said we needed to stop that "myth," implying that it was harmful, especially to those who suffer from postpartum depression. That is something I believe is important to address because I never want anyone to feel bad about themselves or their parenting.
For some, the intense bond and feeling of unconditional love begin the moment we see our children. We see them, as I previously stated, and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this little being is exactly what we've been waiting for our entire lives.
Others, on the other hand, do not have that "click." I'd like to assure you that it's perfectly normal to feel this way. That does not imply that you are a bad parent. It does not imply that you do not unconditionally love your child in the same way that others do. It simply means that your hormones and exhaustion are preventing you from experiencing true and deep love right away.
It could take a few hours. It could take several days. Even weeks. But one day, you'll look at your child and it'll all come rushing back. You'll not only feel it in the moment, but you'll know it's always been there.
Love manifests itself in a variety of ways. Romance, friendship, and familial ties (for our parents and siblings). But there is no truer love than the one we have for our children. Don't you think so?
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