Should You Tell the Truth About Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf?
Should you tell your kids about Santa and the Elf on the Shelf this Christmas season? When our children reach a certain age, we begin to wonder if this is the year we should completely dispel all of their misconceptions about Jolly Old Saint Nick and his merry band of shelf-sitting elves. Rather than pondering if you should just come clean and tell them the truth, consider whether there is any real damage in giving them a little more time to believe.
Should You Tell the Truth About Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf?
First and foremost, given you're reading about breaking clean about Santa and his sidekick, the Elf on the Shelf, I'll assume you're fine with your kids believing in them in the first place. This probably isn't the post for you if you're philosophically opposed to the entire concept of Santa Claus or any other legendary holiday beings. Instead, consider some of my personal favorite meaningful gift ideas and experiences. That one, I believe, you'll enjoy more. Let's talk about Santa now!
If you Google "should I tell my kids the truth about Santa," you'll discover responses ranging from "Wait, Santa isn't real???" to "Wait, Santa isn't real???" "How dare you lie to your kids in the first place?" to "How dare you lie to your kids in the first place?" Parents have a variety of viewpoints on the subject, all of which are impacted by their own parenting philosophy. While everyone has the right to their own opinion, I was curious if there was any damage in allowing them to believe. Psychological injury, to be precise. I enlisted the help of true experts for this. Most of them are focused on Santa, but they may easily be used to Elf on the Shelf as well. After all, they're a big part of many families Christmas traditions!
Is it damaging to children's psychological well-being to allow them to believe in Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf?
The answer to that question is largely dependent on who you ask. There are various psychological philosophies, just as there are various parenting philosophies. Psychology is not a precise science. Some academics argue that allowing children to believe in Santa at all is unethical because it is a deception. Period. In their perspective, the debate is over.
On Psychology Today, Vanessa LoBue Ph.D. (aka The Baby Scientist) explains that "fantasy in general is a normal and healthy part of child development." She compares it to the chill we get while passing a reportedly "haunted" house or the way we communicate with our deceased loved ones.
However, as children grow older, LoBue argues, they lose some of their magical thinking and come to rely on facts. What's more, they learn to look for new evidence. Basically, eating the cookies your children leave out and marking a few gifts "Love, Santa" won't suffice at some time. At that moment, your children will naturally realize that Santa Claus isn't real...at least not in the shape of the man who carries presents down the chimney.
It's entirely healthy to believe in Santa Claus and other seasonal legends.
Of course, taking the word of the first psychologist who agrees with my broad viewpoint isn't enough. That would be unethical. As a result, I continued to seek out other experts who could assist her. I found a great interview with Dr. Matthew Lorber, a child psychiatrist, regarding when to tell your kids about Santa.
"Imagination is a normal element of growth and helps create creative minds," says Dr. Lorber. He goes on to claim that the Santa legend is based on fact, thus it's not a complete fabrication. Saint Nicholas was a genuine person who was noted for giving poor people presents.
It's entirely healthy to believe in Santa Claus and other seasonal legends.
Of course, taking the word of the first psychologist who agrees with my broad viewpoint isn't enough. That would be unethical. As a result, I continued to seek out other experts who could assist her. I found a great interview with Dr. Matthew Lorber, a child psychiatrist, regarding when to tell your kids about Santa.
"Imagination is a normal element of growth and helps create creative minds," says Dr. Lorber. He goes on to claim that the Santa legend is based on fact, thus it's not a complete fabrication. Saint Nicholas was a genuine person who was noted for giving poor people presents.
"I don't believe parents should choose a specific time to tell their children there is no Santa," Durtschi explains. “As children grow older, the magical thinking that allows them to accept all of Santa Claus' details so easily will fade away, and they will soon figure it out on their own.”
Kids will oscillate back and forth between believing and not believing during that period, according to Durtschi, so just because your child expresses doubts doesn't mean they're ready for you to confirm them. "What are your ideas on Santa?" he suggests as a neutral topic. “Do you still believe in Santa?” rather than “Do you still believe in Santa?”
Allow children to remain children for as long as possible.
Let kids be kids, in my opinion, when it comes to Santa and the Elf on the Shelf. Why push it when they'll outgrow magical thinking on their own? As children, many of us believed in Santa and suffered no psychological consequences as a result. The majority of us didn't lose faith in our parents after learning the truth.
When they come to you and tell you that they no longer believe in Santa and that Elf on the Shelf isn't real, you can be honest with them. Explain to them that, while they may not be "genuine" in the way they formerly thought, their message is still vital. Do good, be good, and trust in other people's kindness. Anything that helps our children learn those important life lessons, in my opinion, can't be a terrible thing.
Comments