Raising a Mama's Boy Is Perfect There's Nothing Wrong With It
Raising your son to be a mama's boy, contrary to popular thought, is not a terrible thing. In fact, you might be doing him a big service by doing so! There's even scientific proof to back it up. Learn why, as well as the benefits that extend far past childhood.
When someone says, "He's such a mama's boy," they rarely mean it in a positive way in our society. They're implying that he's weak, spoilt, insecure, or completely reliant on his mother.
A simple Google search for the word turns up articles with "signs" to look out for in order to avoid dating mama's boys, as well as advice on how to "handle" with them if you do find updating one. The internet has made its voice heard. Mama's sons are the absolute worst.
This, however, is not the case. Boys who are cared for and devoted to their moms, on the other hand, develop a strong sense of security. As they grow older, they become emotionally stronger and more self-reliant.
Mama's boys are also less likely to commit acts of aggression and have a higher regard for women. They're also in better mental and physical condition. Regrettably, what is genuine and what society considers to be true are frequently diametrically opposed.
If you have a mama's boy, society expects you to feel guilty. As it is, we mothers are constantly guilty! We don't need another thing to add to the list of "things we're probably doing completely incorrectly." Rest assured, though, that you have no reason to be concerned in this circumstance. In reality, science claims that you're on the right track.
Raising Your Son to Be a Mama's Boy Is A Good Thing, According to Science
There is scientific evidence that a close mother-son relationship is healthy and advantageous. The mother-son bond is important for emotional development, according to research from the University of Reading. The researchers looked at 69 separate trials with approximately 6,000 participants in all.
They discovered that children, particularly boys, who had strong bonds with their mothers had fewer behavioral difficulties throughout their childhoods. Children who did not have a strong link with their mother, on the other hand, had more problems.
"Specifically, our analysis revealed that children with insecure attachments to their mothers, particularly boys, had considerably greater behavioral problems, even when the behavioral problems were measured years later," adds researcher Dr. Fearon.
Let's look at a couple more studies to prove that there's nothing wrong with raising a mama's boy.
According to a study published in 2011 by the Society for Research in Child Development, boys who have strained connections with their mothers are more likely to become teen "delinquents."
The concept that mama's boys are somehow "feminized" and lose their manhood, which was a stupid myth to begin with, was debunked in a 2012 study.
According to a 2010 study published by the American Psychological Association, boys who were connected to their mothers had superior physical and mental health overall.
Let's take a deeper look at the second study, which has some intriguing findings.
Overall, Mama's Boys Are Healthier
Boys who were close to their moms exhibited fewer of the negative stereotypes associated with "hyper-masculine" behavior, according to a 2010 APA study. In other words, they didn't feel compelled to always act like "tough guys." This truly benefits both of them.
According to the study, males who were raised hearing phrases like "be a man" or "boys don't weep" are less likely to seek physical and mental medical treatment when they are truly in need. Boys having close relationships with their mothers, on the other hand, did not feel compelled to conform to a stereotype. Overall, they were more emotionally secure. In other words, if they asked for help when they needed it, they didn't feel that their manhood was in jeopardy.
Mama's boys aren't as violent as other lads.
To be clear, I am not implying that raising your son to be anything other than a mama's boy will raise his chances of becoming a violent criminal. However, according to multiple studies, hyper-masculinity does seem to foster aggressive conduct, according to a 2018 research article given by the American Psychological Association.
One line from the paper stands out in particular. "Masculine ideals, such as the restriction of emotional expression and the pressure to adhere to dominance and aggressive standards, may increase the likelihood of boys engaging in general acts of violence, such as bullying, assault, and/or physical and verbal hostility."
Myth No. 1: He'll never be completely self-sufficient.
It's assumed that by "babying" our sons and doing everything for them, we're teaching them that they can't live without us. Contrary to popular belief, this is not the case. In the long run, Mama's boys are more self-sufficient since they've learned skills not only from their fathers but also from their mothers.
Many adult men of our generation, for example, can cook and sew, which were once considered "women's jobs" by our grandparents' generation. Mama's sons aren't simply more self-reliant; they're also helping to break down gender stereotypes.
Myth #2: He'll always believe his mother is correct and will never question her.
Isn't this a ludicrous myth? People think that as mothers, we are teaching our kids the belief that we can do no wrong and that they must do everything our way. At least in our house, it couldn't be further from the truth.
My children, both my son and daughter, are taught to think for themselves. My kids are encouraged to ask questions, and if they come up with a better answer or a new method of doing things, I'm all ears. I also encourage kids to pay attention to what others have to say and to attempt new things.
Myth #3: He'll tell mom everything and spend too much time with her.
Mama's sons, according to one article about dating them, "spend more time texting his mom than you." First, I hope that if my son's future girlfriends ever feel that he isn't texting them enough, they would feel comfortable approaching him about it rather than blaming me arbitrarily. We all want our children to be surrounded by individuals who push them to succeed.
Second, there's nothing wrong with raising a youngster that feels at ease talking to you about anything. I want my children to believe that no issue is off-limits. That way, they'll know I'm there for them if they ever get into difficulty.
My children are not spoiled in any way. I instill in both my son and daughter the importance of hard work. That way, if they achieve, they'll be able to attribute it to their own efforts rather than mine. I encourage, support, and cheer them on, but I don't hand them their victory.
Mama's boys are "weak," according to Myth #5.
This is the one that concerns me the most out of all the stereotypes about mama's boys because it connects being a compassionate human being who cares about others and isn't scared to display emotion with "weakness" or "sissiness." In reality, in my opinion, the reverse is true.
To overcome centuries of training and feel safe expressing oneself, it takes a really strong man. Every parent should attempt to instill that so-called "weakness" in all of their children. We don't want to create children who are so afraid of crying that they bury their feelings until they explode.
We want both our sons and daughters to feel comfortable being themselves and expressing their emotions.
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